Twilight Jokes (sorry, I dont mean to insult, just laugh :D

I found these online, and thought they were kinda funny, :)
Credit: wiki answers, wattpad.com, b l o g s p o t.com

How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen

What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse!

Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as or more beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!

How do you stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell "fetch"!

How do you irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!

Why can't Edward read Bella's mind?
There's nothing to read.

Jasper will never be a therapist because he already knows "how you feel about that".

I keep wanting to steal Jasper
but everytime I go to his bedroom window
Alice is waiting with a baseball bat...
how does she kno... oh yeah!!!

Dear Diary,
I would like to La Push Jacob of a cliff.
Love Edward

I went to La Push Washington, and all I got was this stupid imprint.

Jasper Hales first job was as a paperboy, there were no survivors.

Tips for guys trying to find a girlfriend:
1. Read the Twilight Saga.
2. Watch Twilight movies.
3. In every real-life situation, think, "What would Edward do?

Boy: You know Edward Cullen isn't real, right?
Girl: Well fake boobs aren't real, but you still like to look at those!

Dear Edward,
Thanks a lot...
sincerely,
Guys everywhere